Look, we know that we’ve put up a good front, trying to encourage you to go to the gym or whatever. But we took a long, hard look at this whole “fitness” thing, and we have to say: It’s hard to defend it any longer. Just take all these ironclad reasons why you should definitely quit your gym, like, now:
1. The walk from the parking lot to your office is workout enough.
2. And you like getting winded going up stairs, actually.
3. Why would you want a use for your freakin’ stylish fitness wardrobe?
4. Endorphins are way overrated.
5. You wouldn’t want to look super BAMF like this, would you?
6. Or be able to do this?
7. You’d never have to sweat again. Because gross.
8. Be honest, when do you actually lift anything heavier than your grocery bags? It’s not like you need these guns.
9. Sure, there are a bunch of studies that say exercise is amazing for you and all, but you could do without the benefits.
10. Who wants to de-stress?
11. And we’re sure your work-life balance couldn’t use any improvement.
12. Or your mood.
13. Or, you know, your sex life.
14. Come on. Working out is no fun at all.
15. Or rewarding. No way.
16. You should just cancel to save yourself the misery. Tell your gym to peace out.
17. In fact, you should stop exercising all together—there’s clearly no point.
Because you know we’re not serious by now, right? Good. Please let your gym know we’re sorry for ever making it think we doubted it—then get thee there and start sweating!
More From Women’s Health:
10 Signs You Practically Live at the Gym
13 Gym Rules Everyone Should Follow
9 Rookie Mistakes You Can’t Believe You Used to Make at the Gym